Grieving Dads Project

Telling Ones sorrow often brings comfort – Pierre Corneille (circa 1640)

Telling ones sorrow seems to be such a simple concept but one we all struggle with. It’s not easy to go to the pain and relive our experiences. It took me a long time before I could openly tell my story. I probably had a million reasons why I wouldn’t talk about it, but here are a couple of main reasons why I wouldn’t tell my story:

1. I truly thought if I didn’t talk about it I could tuck it away into a dark corner of my mind and it would just go away.

2. It hurt too much.

3. I thought I was being weak and I should be able to control my pain.

4. I never really discussed other difficult things in my life, no reason to start now.

5. I felt a lot of guilt and I really didn’t want to let others know how “terrible” of a dad I must be by not being able to protect my children.

6. I was taught to deal with “stuff” on my own.

7. I didn’t think there was anyone out there that was willing to listen to my problems.

8. I didn’t want to burden other people with the issues I was having.

9. Talking about my children’s death wouldn’t change the fact that it really happened.

10. I was embarrassed that I would start weeping in front of others when I spoke of the losses.

These are just a few of the reasons that come to mind today. Like I said above, I am sure I had many many reasons for not sharing.

I have since learned that this quote is very true. Telling your story is an important part of releasing the pain the goes to the core. Pain I never realized existed. Pain that cannot be explained with words. You have to walk in the shoes of a grieving parent to understand this pain.

Do you have excuses for not telling your story?

Do you have ideas you would like to share with other on how to start telling their story?

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